Comedy Hoarding

There’s no proof that it’s the cell phone that causes cancer or the person you’re talking to.

There’s no proof that it’s the cell phone that causes cancer or the person you’re talking to.


Insiders say facebook has a new secret project. We’ll hear about it soon - they’re terrible at keeping things private.

Insiders say facebook has a new secret project. We’ll hear about it soon - they’re terrible at keeping things private.


Hipster beards need to be defeated more than Al Qaeda.

Hipster beards need to be defeated more than Al Qaeda.


I’m assuming somebody’s already referred to Weiner’s resignation as a premature evacuation, right?

I’m assuming somebody’s already referred to Weiner’s resignation as a premature evacuation, right?


I’m really glad I never learned the dewey decimal system.

I’m really glad I never learned the dewey decimal system.


Anthony Weiner has  taken a two-week leave of absence. One week for rehab and the other to  shop for a new phone that takes high-res pictures.

Anthony Weiner has taken a two-week leave of absence. One week for rehab and the other to shop for a new phone that takes high-res pictures.


Weiner is resigning today because in America you can lie about war, but if you send pictures of your dick we can’t trust you

Weiner is resigning today because in America you can lie about war, but if you send pictures of your dick we can’t trust you


I bet pictures of Weiner’s penis are gonna look really sad today.

I bet pictures of Weiner’s penis are gonna look really sad today.


Last time I got up  this early I was fishing with my Dad. We caught a sting ray and some  flounder.  He was a great dad, but even better bait.

Last time I got up this early I was fishing with my Dad. We caught a sting ray and some flounder. He was a great dad, but even better bait.


Who’s kidding who? Super-soakers are designed to drown your opponent.

Who’s kidding who? Super-soakers are designed to drown your opponent.


Just saw that my pilot is Asian.  #JustifiablyNervous, #PleaseLetMeBeGettingPunkd, #FlyingInTheLeftLaneDoing35MPH

Eating an Egg  McMuffin because nothing else is open in this fucktard airport. A bowl  of crushed glass would be a healthier breakfast.

Eating an Egg McMuffin because nothing else is open in this fucktard airport. A bowl of crushed glass would be a healthier breakfast.


If you go over a  man’s house and his wife is cooking the steak over an open fire she’s  likely hitting his ass with a strap-on too #MANSHIT

If you go over a man’s house and his wife is cooking the steak over an open fire she’s likely hitting his ass with a strap-on too #MANSHIT


The Green Lantern is an awesome superhero whose name sounds like a secret gay bar on MAD MEN.

The Green Lantern is an awesome superhero whose name sounds like a secret gay bar on MAD MEN.


I was thinking bout…doing my version of the bachlor  in japan called ” me so horny”..u like ?

I was thinking bout…doing my version of the bachlor in japan called ” me so horny”..u like ?